WHY?

I laid in the silence of the darkness

and heard the echoes of the night.

Laid next to you i heard you breathe

in the shadows of moonlight.

I wanted you to embrace me,

but i couldn’t stand your touch.

I felt your body close to me,

the pain was just too much.

The aching of my body

and the bruises on my skin.

How could you sleep just knowing

the torment i was in?

The pain you had inflicted,

i could not understand.

How could you say you loved me

with the palm of your hand?

For better or worse our vows of love,

till death do us part.

Were broken on our honeymoon,

Like a knife in my heart.

As you were sleeping soundly,

my eyes would fill with tears.

This what i had to look forward to,

for the next few years?

Silently i’d get out of bed

and tiptoe to the door.

I’d slip into the shower

and fall silently to the floor.

Crying as i tried to wash

the filth from my skin.

The memories stay to haunt me

of this terror i lived in.

Curled up on the shower floor,

i cried my silent tears.

I tried to wash my bruises

and escape all of my fears.

I wondered why you hurt me

and said that it was love.

Why did you take away my happiness

and all that i dreamed of ?

Like a child to be punished,

you said it’s discipline.

“For i must obey my husband

and show respect to him.”

You said i was deceitful

and that i had affairs.

That i was sleeping with the neighbours,

that i had lovers everywhere!

The pain of your accusations,

Cut me like a knife.

How could you think i’d do that?

I was your loving wife!

So you hit me to remind me,

not to fool around.

The sanctity of our marriage,

was just emptiness i found!

As i wipe away the tears,

i can still feel the pain.

What was this need to punish me,

over and over again?

You promised to protect me,

but i can only wonder why?

The same hand that embraced me,

was the one that made me cry!

As i crawled out of the shower,

I had hoped to clear my head.

but all i felt was hopelessness

as i returned to bed!

I laid there in the shadows

and listened to you breathe.

Wondering if one day i’d find,

the courage i’d need to leave!

.